Seven unseasoned and reasonably undergraduates head to a secluded lakeside bungalow in Louisiana to take a cargo off and enjoy a wild and crazy weekend away. But things take a turn for the worst when a penis of the group is attacked by a shark. Isolated with no cellular telephone service and no avail in sight, the group promptly realizes they are on their own, but the urine around them is not safe.

I wanted Shark Night 3D to be arsenic playfulness as Piranha 3D was last year. Despite the PG-13 military rank, I held onto a desperate hope that it would somehow manage to live up to that horizontal surface of elated insanity and absolutely pathetic shoddiness. I knew deep down it would never be anywhere near comparable, but everything about the film suggested it would be an enjoyable ride.

sadly, this is not the font.

alternatively of getting a absurd movie about sharks mauling pretty 20- somethings that embraces the diaphanous giddiness of the identical mind, we get a deadly dangerous, high-concept slasher film that seems to have no concept of what playfulness is. sure we get the typical horror movie judicious ass quips sprinkled here and there, and some rather intriguing reasoning as to why the attacks are occurring. But in-between these moments, we get stilted dialogue, wooden performances, characters with next to no dimensionality any, and just about nothing else. Despite it being 2011, the film feels like it belongs to a different earned run average – one where it has not realized how exorbitant and frivolous the genre has become. It offers nothing new by direction of ideas or history, and somehow thinks an ode to Jaws at the begin of the film is appropriate. I initially wanted to criticize Shark Night for cribbing from Piranha. But in watching the film, it is obvious they learned absolutely nothing from Alexandre Aja and his crew.

But while the regretful history and worse acting are to be expected, what is actually disappointing is just how a lot of a deluxe tease the hale movie is. The rat may be a conducive factor, but the alone thing it seems to cut out is gratuitous nakedness. The T and A is still ample, and the film is actually amazingly graphic in some instances. But the majority of deaths, the best region of any slasher film, are merely hinted at. We see characters get pulled submerged, and barely when you think we will see their ghastly end, the film inexplicably cuts to the adjacent fit. Hell, we do not flush get the obligatory shot confirming that a character did indeed die. How do we know they did not manage to fight off the shark and survive to fight another day ? And since there are about ten people in the entire frame, most of which meet an ill-timed end, that is a hale bunch of teasing and not a lot of pay off. I can only think of one that is explicitly shown, and even that seemed like it was pushing it based on what happens during the perch of the film. It is all very arbitrary, but it seems like a quite obscene fake pas on the separate of the filmmakers.

Remember how comically bad and exaggerated the marauder looked in Piranha 3D ? Somehow, the sharks in Shark Night 3D look even worse. There is nothing naturalistic about them. They look more cartoonish than anything, standing out as not even attempting to look like they belong in any of the scenes. They make memories of the shark from Jaws appear more frighteningly authentic than I thought possible. But this is alone when the sharks are swimming around subaqueous, looking baleful and hungry. When they actually interact with the characters, they look absolutely absurd and absurd. A inject involving a shark leaping out of the water to attack one of the characters as he zips by on a jet-ski looks even worse than those laughably atrocious effects you may have seen from Shark Attack 3 : Megalodon. They may actually qualify for some of the worst effects in the past decade. surely the especial effects team realized they were working on an actual movie with a budget, and not some straight-to-DVD Asylum knockoff. So what could possibly be there excuse for such a frightful job ?

I think the alone thing I remotely enjoyed was how impressive the submerged shots looked in 3D. They were clearly shot with the format in judgment, and look absolutely stunning even with a fudge shark in the background. They frequently took me entirely out of the film, as they look like they belong in a importantly better undertaking. The shots are merely so placid and indeed beautiful that they may make you forget what an awed movie you are sitting through. With the exception of an over-the- top plosion, this is good about the only thing that sizzles in 3D. There are no other elements that even attempt to take advantage of the format.

When I tell you that Shark Night 3D is one of the worst films of the year, with following to no ransom qualities, you better believe I am not lying. I was hoping it would be slightly fun, but rather it was one of the most annoy and agonize films I have ever put myself through. The movie is excessively good to be enjoyable, and fails to deliver in about every respect. The filmmakers and cast should be ashamed of themselves. When the credits rolled, I could not leave the dramaturgy fast adequate because I was ashamed to have actually watched it. apparently there is a rap music television after the credits conclude, featuring the entire roll. Somehow, I however do not think this could make up for the parody you have to put yourself through to get to it.

3/10.

( An extended follow-up besides appeared on hypertext transfer protocol : //www.geekspeakmagazine.com ).